Twitter is a microblogging service where people can share short updates about what they are up to. There are some funny people there. I have collected some of the messages I found amusing over the last few weeks. Follow me on Twitter – I am DrCris.
auntycookiewon the netball grannie but realised we were in a lower grade than I thought. was voted best on court, doesnt count when youre in B GRADE!!!
andrewsayer__________/___________o/__________ shark!- firstdogonmoonToday’s cartoon is about something or other, i dunno. Draw your own stupid cartoon.
goldenskyeWhen you are trying to do six things at once, it is not wise to tweet , too.
zoloraThe name “hormone replacement therapy” is misleading. I don’t see why I can’t trade in some estrogen for more endorphins.
TerryBorderI’m supposedly supposed to “brand” myself here on Twitter and Facebook. Position myself so as to sell to “my audience”. I feel nauseous.
medpianoPondering whether or not I want to maximize my carbon footprint with a new truck…
tjstaabTime to get the kids out of the house for a bit before they claw their way out.
kidbraindocIf you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. – George Burns
kindlejunkieMust. Stop. Procrastinating. Work won’t do itself. Where’s a Fail Whale when a girl needs one?
- kindlejunkieRT @jonfmerz: Been in many life-threatening situations before, I can confidently state that nothing compares to the horror of a play date.
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andysteeleYou have to wonder about a hotel safe that is not fixed or chained down and can easily be lifted out! 
history_geekDear Student: You missed the midterm, failed exam 2 & did not turn in your last assignment.Do you need to ask what your course grade is?
yaypieEverything has gone wrong today that could possibly go wrong. And as soon as I send this, something that couldn’t possibly go wrong will.- andrewsayerthank god for safety demos. i would never have known how a seat belt buckle would have worked otherwise
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