If I get more sad when the nice ones die, am I a bad doctor?

If I enjoy the silence of a sleeping household when I prepare for work, am I a bad mother?

If I call a patient “stinky-foot-man,” am I inhuman?

If I only talk to my friends via twitter, do I have a terrible life?

If I talk about poo over a meal, am I no longer an adult?

If I’m mainly sweating over a patient’s complications because I recommended her for surgery, am I too selfish?

If I leave my kids with someone else all day, am I entitled to comment on their discipline?

If someone tries to convince me that walking barefoot will make my child infertile, am I allowed to laugh?

If I put my hand into another sweaty groin and still manage not to grimace, can I have a piece of chocolate (after I wash my hands)?