I have been working at this new job for two weeks now, and I’ve figured out some things.

1. If your boss has to sign off your overtime sheet, you had better consider carefully what time you do your weekend ward rounds.

2. Vascular surgery call is easier if the renal registrar (who is your partner in emergency AV fistula management) is not a wet dishcloth.

3. “I’m scrubbed” is a magic phrase that I wish worked on children.

4. Standing up for five days straight is more tiring than not standing up for five days.

5. Wearing shoes regularly to run errands and pick up the kids is not the same as breaking them in.

6. Never think the shuttle bus to outpatients will be quicker than your car.

7. Necrotic fingers are just like necrotic toes, but I can’t get my emotions to believe that.

8. My hands remember how to cut and suture. My brain remembers some tricks.

9. I still like patients. And I love the rush of getting the non-English-speaking and the crazy ones to like me.

10. Experience and “gut feel” don’t fade with age, but the need to be “bright and right” does.

11. One bad outcome in a patient can lead to the loss of thousands of man-hours and trees by the protocol machine.

12. You can’t argue with the protocol machine.

13. It’s probably not smart to try to argue with the protocol machine.

14. Colleagues without kids, or partners look at me like I am a freak. Did I used to think like them? Probably.

15. It’s more efficient to leave the house before the kids need breakfast.

16. When a meeting is advertised as including a meal, it often doesn’t refer to food you would choose to eat (Danish, anyone?).

17. “Stinky foot man,” “The guy with unstable sugars” and “The lady with the VACC dressing” are not adequate descriptors to differentiate my patients. “The guy with all his toes” is, though.

18. My need to have patients like me and trust me conflicts with my need to have my family like me and trust me.