Twitter is a microblogging service, that lets real people share snippets of what they are doing for public consumption. I would like to share some of the amusing twitters of the last few weeks. The timeline is reversed, with more recent tweets at the top.
bigyahuBoy7 has asked me to help him build a website “with cool #bakugun and #pokemon and #beastquest stuff” guess I knew this day would come…
adnrwJust spent 2 full mins trying to sort out where to put my helmet whilst in the bathroom before realising I have a head it fits perfectly.
SylviaPlathPut baby on phone to my mum. Baby giggled and babbled some nonsense for a while. 4yo grabbed the phone from her, “Sorry about that Nana”.
- SylviaPlathHad to leave work early to collect daughters from virus bank that is the day care centre. We should drop day-care centres on our enemies.
KimmehkinsThe high pitched giggling fourteen year old girls next door? Yeah, I want to smack them
purplesqueMy tweets show a disturbing binge-purge pattern.
tjstaabTeenager sitting on the toilet playing video games on his laptop. Reading the newspaper was soooo yesterday.
- purplesqueWhen I’m mad, I study. I should get mad more often.
- SylviaPlathTrying to explain evolution to 4 yo.
- SylviaPlathSo funny how toddlers, who can’t walk four metres without falling over, have racing cars and rocket ships on their t-shirts
- tjstaab2yr old girl, naked except for a jacket, knee high boots and stickers on her belly. Daddy is NOT impressed. Thinks mummy should take lessons
Geek2NurseMy psychotic pt’s hold was dropped. Luckily she read about me in a Tom Clancy novel & knew I was trustworthy, so she signed in voluntarily.
drlori716 yo son told 2.5 yo son he was giving him a ticket & sending him to juvie.
- SylviaPlathGreat having curious, creative kids. An hour’s worth of folded laundry strewn over bedroom floor
doc_robSuture Self.
- doc_robHey, Do you know what the surgeon said to the friend who wanted to close his own wound?
badbananaIf I buy a new computer, then I need new software, and a new printer, and a new desk. It ends with me living in Vegas with a new family.
AutofocusTMRT @MarketingZap: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass – it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
firstdogonmoonHe doesn’t call, he doesn’t email, he doesn’t tweet. Perhaps he’s not that into me.
atariboyAre you a Vampire? If so, you better not say anything on Twitter. Slayers probably track keywords via RSS or TweetDeck. You’ve been warned!
Priceless! I love getting your Tweeple are funny list.
@Victoria Powell: Glad you enjoy them. I really enjoy collating all the funny people I hear from. It is hard to say in real life…”You know, I heard this really funny joke on twitter the other day..”